Kill

Fuck. That's all I have to say right now. I am the biggest dipshit on the face of this earth. Why should my parents trust me with my money now? The day I get a one thousand dollar payment, is the same day I go blow $470 on a fucking dress I don't need. I go back today and I can't get a full refund. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm not that type of person to fucking spend that much money on a dress. Or anything for that matter. I am so unbelievably pissed with myself. Such pure idiocy. Shoot me now.

Things Are Getting Better

2 Days

Should I be studying right now? Yes.

Am I studying right now? Nope.

Whoops.

You Don't Know Anything

Life is kinda good. Do you agree?

Home

Home Home Home Home Home

Supermassive Black Hole

Crap. I think I've failed a unit. That means I'll have to stay back for another half a year. Crap. What and how am I going to tell my parents when the results come out?

Corners Of Your Mind

A couple of months ago, I had this weird dream where I was walking down the hallway of my house. At the hallway, you can see through the door that leads to my living room, and I could see the white fan that's usually there and also all these white little paper bags lined up. I can still distinctly remember that. It was also nighttime in my dream. It was a very brief scene and when I woke up, I didn't really think much of it.

About a month or so before my sister's wedding, and just before I left for country life, I was up late and walking down my hallway to the bathroom when I realised that the door to the hallway and living room was open, and it was the exact scene I saw. The little white bags were the twenty or so bags I had made by hand for about three days for my sister's wedding, and we didn't have anywhere to put them, so my mum had lined them up in the living room. The white fan was there, and the glow of the living room lamp was there too. I wasn't exactly freaked out, but just like 'Oh, that was in my dream'. It was a very odd moment for me there. I think many people have stories like this, no?

The Best Thing

I love that at night and when I'm outside the University Library that I can random 'baaaaaa' in the distance. Gotta love the country.

Comin' Home

11 Days

I'm glad this homesickness didn't kick in until now, when I'm nearly going back home. I can't believe it's been two months since I've seen my family, eaten Vietnamese food and been in my room. The fact that I haven't been in my bedroom is amazing to me. For the last few years of my life, particularly the last two years, I was locked away in my room for crazy amount of hours. Now I'm here and I'm actually going outside yeah that's right outside my room into the air with trees and other people. Okay so I wasn't that bad, but I've never walked so much in the open air in my life. But I still miss home. And I'm glad I'm going back so soon. Life has changed so much.

Unlike Me

A lot of the people I know don't deserve all the good things they've received. I'm being incredibly bitter because I think I have a right to be. Unless there is some magical shit that's going to be happening to me in the future, I'm going to remain bitter for a very very long time.

They didn't work hard. Yet they got the rewards in the end. They didn't deserve it at all. They did not deserve it.

Because life comes easily to them. Why does this happen so frequently for them, while I get to feel like I'm struggling everyday?

And when they just brush it aside, and don't realise they have it good? Yeah. That makes me want to slap them in the face.

Ungrateful. Leave me alone. I don't want to know you people anymore.

Warning Sign

Please stop telling me what to do. Or I will eventually punch you.

Believe me Natalie

I cannot believe I actually reacted that way. Seriously. I'm studying at my university's 24/7 computer labs and suddenly my friend yells out, 'OH MY GOD, MOUSE!!' and I scream. And jump on a chair. Like those 1950's housewives. Wow. I realised at approximately 1am that I'm one giant idiot.

A Million Ways

15 days until I'm back home.

I'm really starting to crave my mum's home food, even down to the cabbage soup. That's right. Cabbage boiled in water. With proper rice, and not that dry crap non-asians have been making. With fresh chilli cut into soy sauce. And non fattening food. All the good stuff.