Rolling In On A Burning Tyre

I feel like being cruel to my dad's ugly fishes. Apparently they ate all the other smaller ones and terrorised them to death. So every time I pass the tank I scare the crap out of them and they run to their little corner to hide, and I can hear them bump the side of the tank in haste of hiding from me. Hateful, stupid fishes.

Walk It Off

Going home this Friday. So fucking glad.

A Lack Of Colour

The following is an excerpt from the life of a teenager.

So I have this friend, T. She first started hanging out with this guy accidentally- she had been interested in his friend at the time. They started becoming really good 'study buddies' and for a couple of weeks, everyone told her (including me) that he seemed to like her more then just as platonic friends. But she kept saying that she wasn't interested, that she wasn't attracted to him, etc. We told her she was in denial, and so slowly, she realised that she did like the guy. Then she began crushing on him bigtime. She looked up 'Signs to tell he likes you' on google, and she tried them out- the whole 'accidentally' placing your leg next to his, see if he moves away kind of thing. Everyone thought that he really liked her. Then on the night of our course ball at the pub after party, apparently he told her that they needed to 'talk'. [Meanwhile, I was back at the venue, waiting for a taxi to take me there.] She had thought that finally, he would ask her out. Instead, he told her that he 'just wanted to be friends'. She was horrified. She sent me a text, 'Where are you guys? I need you! He just rejected me!'

We thought he was such a jerk, leading her on all that time, flirting like crazy with her. In the following days, his excuses were 'it's because I don't want to date someone in the same course'. Which was a pretty lame excuse. Finally, we found out that he had thought that she wanted to hook up with him that night, not go out with him. We deduced a drunk friend had told him that. And they spoke about what happened. But he never asked her out. But he also never said he didn't like her in that way either. So now T is in a conundrum, because for some reason, she's still crazy about him. And even as we speak, she's sending me lyrics over MSN from songs such as 'Stuck On You' by Stacie Orrico, 'relating' to her life. Seriously. They've remained study buddies, but she's hoping that if she keeps talking to him, then he'll realise that 'she's the girl for him'. And that's the sad bit about it. I still think he's a bit of a jerk. Surely he can see now that she likes him? And yet, he doesn't make the line clear. Freaking penis people.

Run A Mile

At times like these, (even though I have only one freaking exam), I ask myself, why am I at uni again?!

If I'm Saying Nothing

I don't feel like myself out here. Corny as it sounds, there isn't anyone out here that I can relate to properly, joke with in my type of humour, or see life as it is. Because of this, I'm acting a like a complete jerk to everyone. They're nice people, don't get me wrong, but I feel so freaking disconnected to them. I want to pick fights with them over every small thing that they say. I don't laugh at their jokes...not on purpose, but cause I don't find them funny. I'm constantly thinking about life back in Melbourne, and how much better it would have been there for my social sanity if I'd just stayed. This better be worth it.

Let's Call It Off

It's kinda shitty that I genuinely do want to stop talking to my high school friends. Actually, it's really not that hard to not talk to them, to not stay in touch. After high school, without the school work chatter, it made me question just exactly how I had ever maintained friendships with these people. I think it must have been the isolation, the shelter of high school I went through- I didn't have other people and other experiences.

Not to sound crappily corny, but we have different things we expect in life. I don't know whether it's because I've changed, or they have, or it's always been like this... but the things they want? Yeah, the things they think they can't live without, don't exactly coincide with what I want. To use my sister's term, they've become more 'yuppie', more into buying stupid shit. From the little I talk to them now, it seems their thoughts are filled and consumed with this crap.

I said at the start of the year that it didn't matter anyway, since they were barely keeping in touch, consumed by their own lives but now that they have an inkling of us slipping away, some are trying. Sure, try away. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't give a crap about what you talk about. It's incessant and ridiculous.

And if someone from that group happens to pass this blog, I have to say that I don't regret it. I just regret that I didn't realise earlier.

A Lack Of Armour

At times like these, I wish I hadn't neglected developing the basic female skill of putting on makeup. My course's ball is on tomorrow and I'm hating the fact that my hand shakes when I put on liquid eyeliner and the fact that I look patchy when I attempt foundation. My past self happily sits all natural, while my present self curses it into oblivion.

Shit Song

Country life is already driving me insane. Not so much the hills and farmland, but more so the people. So incredibly self absorbed, self centred and self righteous. It's making me feel so bloody irritated and sulky all the freaking time. I think now they just think I'm like this normally, and that it's my personality. Yeah, I do feel bad 'cause I'm constantly snapping at them, or just nodding curtly at whatever they say, but I really really really don't care about your problems. I have never met someone with such superficial problems, who believes that they are more serious then third world poverty.

Everyone here. I don't know what to say. I'm thinking about a group of people in particular who are all so effing arrogant. They may be the biggest douches in the world, and I worry for their patients in the future. How they hell did they get into this course? Personality wise, I'm more worried that they'll kill people in the future with negligence, because they just seem like the type of people who would be stupid and selfish enough to go to work high.

URGH. I'm going to go strangle some tumbleweed or something.

Face Down In The Right Town

I know I probably really shouldn't judge people I don't know very well, but sometimes I meet someone (or in this case, a group of people) who I just get a bad vibe from. I've gotten bad feelings from people I don't know before, but not very often; they haven't done anything to me, but it's that weird feeling you get. Like I can see that they're genuinely bad people. That they're dodgy and seedy, and that I should run far far away from them.