In the Morning

When I first came out here, I was under the impression that the Ag kids, aka farm kids, were tough and didn't do emotional crap. It was probably a generalisation, but from watching their drunkenness and brash personalities, it's hard to think otherwise. A friend was telling me about how she's been friends with this guy called Max for a while now who used to go to uni here last year. She was telling me he's an incredibly nice guy who now works on a farm close by. My friend said he would come out to uni just to visit her, and she knew he liked her. A few days ago they were sitting in her common room watching TV when he said 'I love you' to her. To make it clear, they aren't dating or anything. She didn't know what to say, freaked out, and kicked him out of her building with a quick excuse of needing to study. Now they haven't spoken in a week. She told me that farm guys are one of the most emotional, soppy kind of guys out there.

She had a friend who was seeing a farm guy for two months before he told her he wanted to marry and have kids with her. The breaking point was when his mother called her and asked when she had free time to come help redecorate the house on the farm to how she wanted it since she'd be 'living there in the future'. TWO MONTHS. The girl broke up with him and he cried.

Telephone

Sometimes I wish I had been rebellious in high school. Even slightly. Anything. Whenever I talk to Sheenal, we always end up talking about our past, and she was a massive rebel. She has had the most interesting teenage life, bloody hell.

She was telling me how just before the end of year 12, she and her friend, Sky, did this horrendously 'Mean Girls' kind of thing to these two girls who annoyed them. I get the impression Sheenal was one of those girls in school. Anywho, they were at the library when they drew up this poster. The poster said 'Casual Sex Wanted. Willing to do anything, called Sexy Shaz or Nasty Natalie' (something along that) with the mobile phones of those two girls attached. They made multiple copies of these and put them on P plater windscreens, in mail boxes, everywhere. So those girls began wondering why they started getting phone calls, asking for casual sex. Sheenal told me they made a mistake of placing one of the fliers in a different friend's mail box. Sky's handwriting was distinctive so they worried that they would get caught, so they decided to get into the house, distract him and steal the flier back. The only reason Sheenal brought it up was because Sky had just found one of the fliers again and sent her a picture.

Man, this is what teenage soap dramas are made of. She's lived that teenage life that we see in The O.C. and whatever. She's had a stalker down the road who used to use binoculars to spy on her, a hot neighbour who saw her climb into her window in her PJ shorts because she accidentally locked herself out of the house, lived in FIJI for the first few years of her life, and who knows what else. Her friend Sky by the way, now owns and runs these 5 star hotels on Surfer's Paradise, given to her by her family. How do these people have lives like this? And where can I get one for myself?

La La Lie

So when you start to think that your life is really really crap, you hear about someone else's. And I laughed when I heard the news. Hard. Without remorse.

I mentioned a while ago about that friend who crashed his car into our security gate. Well, this week he was speeding back to Sydney in his rental car (he had to get his car fixed after the crash) when he was caught doing 45 over the limit. So, he got his license suspended right there and then. He called Sheenal to get her to pick him up, about over an hour out of this town. And she hardly ever gets angry, but man this was the worst I've ever seen her. She went to pick him up and they left his rental car stranded. He was also on his green P's, and I thought it was weird cause he's about 24. That's because this isn't the first time he's completely lost his license. Then, just before, Sheenal 'updated' me with his situation. So now he's also been fired from his job that he came out here to do, and he's moving back to Sydney. All in all, a pretty shit month for him, where he crashed his car, had to pay for the car and fences, he injured his leg, lost his license, and has been fired. Oh yeah, and he told me his girlfriend had recently broke up with him to travel across Europe. Probs to slut it up with the Europeans.

Sheenal said he wants to stay at our house for a couple of days before he moves back to Sydney while he waits for his car to be fixed. But she's genuinely scared he's going to accidentally burn our house down or something. Sheenal: 'Bad luck follows him'. So now it has come down to me having coincidentally becoming very sick overnight that I've been to the hospital and my parents are going to be down from Melbourne. And that they don't like me being friends with boys or something. There is a slight twinge of sympathy for him. But not as great as my finding the situation hilarious.

More

I think I'm a naturally paranoid person, who's easy to scare, but there's been a few genuinely strange things that have happened in the house I'm renting this year. Sheenal's window is always opening by itself, and it needs to be pushed up. It could be something like suction, but it creeped us out a bit the first few times, especially when she said she could hear it at night. Secondly, Sheenal came but from holidays a few days earlier than Wendy and I and her guests needed to use our bathroom but the door was locked. She had to use a knife to unlock it because she didn't have the keys. And lastly, the garage door keeps rolling open by itself. Again, could just be the roller doors malfunctioning, but now that means we have to hope for the four month holidays that it does not open. But the locking of the bathroom door is what was the most strange. I'm probably just paranoid, right?

Can We Chill

I gotta learn how to say 'Sorry' properly. Cheesy, but the truth.

This Ain't Sex

So the past two weeks of 'holidays' had me doing placement with a Dietician (who worked part time in her parent's fish and chip shop) and a Diabetes Educator (who had diabetes herself). I didn't realise how crappily they treated me at the pharmacy work experience I had in year 10 until I had this placement. The dietician and I ended up talking mostly about movies and in particular, Twilight. It made me think how I will never ever treat a work experience kid as crappy as they did to me when I was in year 10. I remember trying to watch the pharmacist making a cream on a slab, and as I looked at him, he looked up at me as if to say 'What the eff are you looking at?' And not to mention the horrible shop girls.

Erugh... anyway, it was pretty good placement, met a few interesting patients. I didn't realise how much you can tell when someone has depression. Some people hide it well, and others are consumed. There was a lady who has had clinical depression for about 22 years, and it's horrible to think that someone can live through that many years with it. And there were the obese people who were clearly forced to be there, and after they left, the dietician would make a horrible face and bitch about them. All in all, pretty entertaining.

And finally, back in ye olde country towneth.

Dice

Yesterday I saw the hospital here for the first time. A friend had been hurt after he stupidly forgot to put the handbrake on his car as he got out to press in the numbers for our complex's security gate. The car started rolling into the gate, and into the fence inside and as a ridiculous reflex action, he ran to attempt to push his car back from rolling through the second fence. He ended up with his leg trapped between the car and the fence, and he called out for help. Lucky one of our neighbours were around and quickly ran out and reversed the car off his leg or it would have been crushed. Now not only does he have a badly hurt leg, he has a dent in his car, two broken fences he needs to pay for and probably can't go back to work for a few days. Moral of the story, always put on the handbrake...

I was speaking to my mum on the phone today, and even she has come to the realisation that I'll be FOREVER ALONE. She said that I'd probably wouldn't get married for a while, and my dad said it doesn't matter, because I'll be home for longer. I said I probably wouldn't get married until I'm in my 30's at least, and she didn't even disagree. I was telling this to Wendy and she told me that my standards were too high... BUT I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME !!!

Just A Boy

Today was a day of a revelation for me. It's been about 5 or 6 pracs for BMS at uni, and I've sat around the same people for those weeks. There was this massively international guy who I thought was very strange, and sat across from our bench. When my lab partner asked him something, he responded with this high pitched voice that made him even stranger to me, a very feminine international boy = stay far far away.

Today in our prac class, I can't remember what happened for it to trigger in my mind, but I looked at his face...and realised...he was actually... an older female international student. What the fuck Anna. What the fuck. But then I questioned myself once I looked at him/her a bit more closely. They dressed not very female-like and the hair cut was very short and shaggy. I was confused for a good hour in my mind, thinking that if I just glance at him/her without a labcoat on, see if they had some boobage going on...

I had a sudden idea of asking what their name was to my lab partner, to see if it was a girl or guy's name. The name was Yin Man. Er....

I spent most that prac arguing with myself. Then finally, I gave up and asked my other lab partner embarrassedly, and very very quietly,

'That person in the green jacket...are they male or female?'

She was silent for a moment giving me the strangest look. I knew I deserved it.

*drum roll* 'Female... she doesn't look like man...'

WELL, YES SHE DOES. THAT'S WHY I'VE BEEN THINKING SHE WAS A CREEPY INTERNATIONAL BOY FOR THE PAST MONTH.

Oh god, I feel terrible.

Wow

This place is becoming a place of scary crime. A few weeks ago there was a stabbing murder of someone nearby the town centre and an attempted abduction. And closer to home, the friend that lives in the share house had a few creepy things happen to her over the past few weeks. At the first incident, my friend heard a loud knock on the door but she didn't bother answering. Apparently she went out and the front door was open, and so was the back door, even though none are ever left open. They called the police, but they couldn't do too much. Second time round, one of her house mates heard a scratching at her window, but when she told the others, they brushed it off as her over active imagination due to them being on edge. But when they went out to check her window, there were scratch marks and the bolts of the window had been unscrewed.

Wendy and I didn't want to say anything, but we both knew that whoever was trying to break in wasn't there to steal things. That house is known to have only university girls, as it was advertised that way. Hopefully people won't know that's the same for my house.

I just wrote this really long post and went to publish, only to have blogspot lose it all. Fuck you Blogspot.

Somewhere Only We Know

Bloody crappy back at uni... *mumbles angrily*

Today a few of us went to visit a friend's new share-house place that's nearby where I live. It's an only girls place, where it's all ethnics who live there. The friend we went to visit is someone who I've only known since the start of this year, though she's been in my course since last year. She's the Muslim friend that I've mentioned who cracked that uncomfortable joke. The only reason why I point out that she's Muslim, is because today when we at her share-house, she took off her head scarf and it was so strange to see her hair. I'd imagine it kind of different. As soon as we got to her house, she pulled it off with a this casualness and it was interesting to see her so different. I didn't know she could take it off in front of non-family members, but it's only males she can't take it off in front of. She was telling us how she can only be fully dressed in front of males, and not in PJ's or anything, which was why she moved into an all female house. Then she gave us some jam and cheese pastries her mum made and we frolicked in rainbows and daisies.

I only started uni today, and I don't want to do it anymore. #whitepeopleproblems

I can't wait for the last Harry Potter this week. I still kind of of remember my sister taking me to the very first one back when I was 9 and she was the age that I am now. And then my sister making me promise that I leave her alone for her uni exams so that she'd take me to see Prisoner of Azkaban. GOODBYE CHILDHOOD.

Down On Me

So here's a rundown of what has happened since..... *Voiceover: Previously on Anna's Life*

Studied and did exams, witnessed a mass walkout during an exam from the Radiographers, caught more mice, witnessed meltdowns, made new friends, made new enemies, realised how much everyone is starting to hate each other in my year level, procrastinated, had mini arguments with roommates, shopped for bed sheets as a form of procrastination, had a massive bitch fest with a friend as we were driving back to Melbourne from uni and continuously ignored Thanh (a subject related to everyone starting to hate each other in my year), Snowy died, and other crap that my paranoid side won't let me type out here.

Last night I drove for the first time in a month. I left it for too long again, apparently. First of all, I pushed to indicate. It was the windscreen wipers. I was at the end of the my street and indicated right. I turned left. It's been a while since my dad has yelled at me and he's not a yeller, but I can't blame him. It feels like I'm starting all over again each time I get behind the wheel. My only hope now is that I find a boyfriend that will drive me places... aaaand I just realised there is a better chance of getting my driver's license.

Also visited Zara for the first time yesterday with Tran. Holy crap muffins, it was busy. This is such a white girl problem, but when I tried on a dress I really wanted in my normal size, I couldn't zip it up. Damn you exams. DAMN YOU TO HELL. And while I changed for a dress that I couldn't fit, I broke my necklace. It was a fake silver pearl necklace and it even did the whole pearl dropping and rolling around everywhere, like in a dramatic black and white movie. Then later on while Tran and I were walking, she accidentally kicked my black flats, causing a decorative part of it to fly off. I don't think she even realised it was her, seeing at her shoes were massive wedges she probably didn't feel it. My clothes were just falling apart on me.

Hopefully these holidays will be good, even though everyone is going on holidays somewhere. Honestly I don't really want to travel anywhere, seeing as I've been away from home for about two months. I just want to relax and hope that my gained fat will magically melt off my rolls.

I miss home.

When You Were Young

At request, I am about to divulge a memory that I realise now has probably scarred me for the rest of my life. And is the source of hilarity for others. I'm looking at you Marianne.

In Year 5, we had this play for Italian we had to put on for the rest of the school. My class was going to do a whole 'Minestrone' thing where there would be a large cardboard pot at the front of the stage and each of us had an oversized cardboard ingredient to 'put' into the pot. My ingredient was salt, or 'Sale', as we had to say in Italian while we went up to the pot. I only still remember my ingredient now because they made me repeat so many times, due to the fact that I didn't sound 'enthusiastic enough'. Okay. So. People who know me well enough know that this is my normal voice. I am not being sarcastic all the time. You have no idea how many times they made me repeat it, while exclaiming, 'BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC!'. I remember having no idea what they were talking about, and that I was trying my absolute best to be as damn 'enthusiastic' as bloody possible. I remember tearing up at one point because they were all telling me to 'sound more enthusiastic' and I was trying so hard. In the end, when we were actually performing it, I remember walking up to the microphone that a boy in my class was holding for us to talk into, and he whispered to me, 'dead man walking!'. And then I said the two words with really bad enthusiasm and a sigh. In the end, it made me sound even more sarcastic, by trying to not to sound sarcastic. OH THE IRONY. They had recorded this, and when they were replaying it back to the class, that same boy told our teacher to look out specifically for my part. I wonder if my primary school still has that on tape. I would very much like to see it again, and pity that young child for not realising her sarcastic future ahead of her.

If You Were There, Beware

Recently I came across a really strange relationship between a friend of mine and a guy in third year that I don't really know. To describe this guy as a bit of an idiot is an understatement. He's an all round dodgy guy who's 'okay sometimes' (described by another friend). Any who, they've been friends since we all started our course and I think it was only recently that it became clear he had feelings for her. But she's in a long term relationship, a guy who recently came out here and started uni in a different course with the rest of us. Sheenal, who's been watching this all develop told me today that our friend had had a bad dream about how this guy was going to get into a terrible accident on his trip up to Canberra the next day. And she told him not to go, because she was that disturbed by the dream. Turns out, he did get into a car accident. A very bad one as well. The friend was telling us how he came to her door bleeding, and his face messed up. He had apparently taken himself to the hospital and spent all night there. Sheenal didn't believe that this was an accident at all. All she said to me was 'the lengths he would go to get her attention'. She called it a sick and twisted relationship without any humour and we left it at that. It made me wonder how far some people actually go to get someone else's attention.

Check Yo Self

Awkward Moment #7

My chemistry prac group joking around about looking dodgy at uni cause we're all ethnic.

Me: It'll be cause I'm Asian.

*laughter*

My Muslim friend: And I'd be the terrorist!

*uncomfortable silence*

[Side note: Are we becoming too PC?]

Bruised (literally, bloody pathologist)

I think it's the first sign of madness that I'm listening to classical music. Or that I'm sick of my music. I needed to relax because I just had a blood test and the pathologist was too busy moving around that she perhaps didn't notice that she had a needle in my arm and was RIPPING MY SKIN. It's all bruised with a red line because she was moving the damn needle around too much.

It's funny at what you notice about people if you stare at them for too long. Yesterday in a prac, we had to gather around a machine and I'd never seen my lecturer that closely before. He had this tuff of hair coming out of his ears. It was gross. It was as if there were two little bundles of furry monsters living there. I didn't realise people could have so much ear hair.

We also gave our rabbit away this week. None of us had enough time to look after it properly, so we gave it back to the friend who gave it to my roommate. I have doubts that he can take care of it properly either, so that's why I told my roommate that after he takes it back, I never want to hear about it again. I'm a cold hearted biatch that way.

Take What You Take

Today I had two real life tumblr moments. I was walking home in the freezing cold, wrapped up in a scarf. Walking home from my uni means that I have to walk through this shortcut, a path in between a football field and a wheat field. As I started listening to my iPod, ‘In my place’ by Coldplay came on and I looked to my right at the wheat field, and the sun was shining through the rain clouds where it kind of shone off the wet field, you know like how people do that triangle with their fingers in front the sun beams. And then as I entered my street, the grey sky had this massive bright rainbow, with a few sun beams and the song ‘Trouble Sleeping’ by The Perishers came on as I walked through the autumn leaf covered street. It felt like I was in a TV show for those few minutes and it was so bizarre. I think also the fact that I was wearing my new glasses probably made my senses heightened...everything was just so bloody clear. Is this how people with 20/20 vision always feel?! Living tumblr lives?!

I just realised the irony of posting about tumblr on blogspot....soz blogspot. I also wish I’d taken pictures of the wheat field/rainbow....but I do have this picture instead:

Drop It Like It's Hot

Question of the Week:

Why does our bathroom smell like fart every morning? The toilet doesn't even connect to it. Hmmm...

Sad, But Endearingly So

Whether it's a sign that I've come to a point where I've obviously gone too far in blocking so many people out, but lately I'm starting to decide whether I should try to make an effort with talking to everyone again. It's an unsettling feeling when I realised how easily I was blocking people out, and receiving a jolt of shock when I found myself thinking about blocking my own sister out. That's when I put my foot down, and thought that I'm becoming too bitter for my own good. And it's probably because I miss some of these people. Of course, I'd never ever ever ever like some of these people, with good reason. But there are people I have been unnecessarily cruel to. Have I been too quick in discarding? What would they think if I start talking to them again? Will they talk to me again? It upsets me, and it's cruel that I can only blame myself completely for it.

Mr Brightside

I was talking to a friend today, Dhafar, and she was saying how she was a year older then me because she repeated Year 12. THAT'S RIGHT. SHE VOLUNTARILY REPEATED YEAR 12. She told me that she wasn't happy with her ENTER that year, so she decided to repeat everything. At the same school too. I didn't know you could do this, nor did I think that people would even consider going through that year again. You would have to pay me to waste another year again.

In other news, the bathroom fan's broken. And Wendy and I think it's cause there's something caught in it. Like mice, because there's an infestation at the moment, and it's like a massive plague. My friend told me that someone in her building was studying and there's a vent over him. He was just sitting there when all of a sudden three mice fell out from the vents, onto his desk in front of him. If that were to ever happen to me, I think I would cry from horror. When I got back a couple of days ago from the Easter Break, Sheenal was telling me the infestation is pretty bad. We were driving back late at night from the train station and she turned on her headlights and went 'I bet you we'll see one', and just like it was a TV show, a mouse ran across the road in front of the car. It's hideous, because I've seen two completely flat, dead mice in front of the house, squished from car tyres.

I needed a short break from my not-so-hard studying, while also getting sick of listening to mice running above me in the roof. It is unsettling listening to it running around, like it's crawling over my neck. Erugh.

Check Yo Self

Awkward Moment #6

I walked in the middle of my friends arguing whether this guy was hot or not. Sheenal showed me the picture of him on Facebook. He looked like Sean Paul for pete's sake. She told me to rate him out of 10.

Me: "NO WAY HE'S HOT ewwwww!! Four or five at best!!.....Who is it anyway?"

Sheenal: "My brother."

Krazy

Quote of the week

'She's going to have to change A LOT to fit into society.'

-Sheenal

Riot Van

People around me live far more interesting lives, that's for sure. Wendy just told me this girl in our course who's about 21 years old is married. She married at the age of 16, and it wasn't arranged or anything- she actually marred from love. LOVE. How crazy that they're still together as well. At 16 I was in bloody Year 11 still having packed lunches from my mum.

I also found out today that there's an actual sorority/fraternity at my uni. It's called the Motts and Grotts. Charming name, no? Apparently it's made up of Agricultural Science students (aka farm kids) and they do absolutely crazy stuff. Pooja was telling me that her friend, Bobby was hanging out at a pub and suddenly spotted a crowd of uni kids in a tight circle, looking at something. It turned out it was the Motts and Grotts. Apparently they had some chick bent over with her pants down, and a guy having sex with her. IN THE PUB. They form a tight circle so that no one else could see. It was probably part of an initiation. That girl is also a massive nymphomaniac so she just screws everyone.

Also, as a first year Ag Sci student, you get everything paid for, for that entire first year by all the older students. Every time they go out, their drinks, food are paid for. But there's a catch; they have to do everything that the older students tell them to. Pooja's same friend Bobby was telling her how once he came into his dorm, and some guy had accidentally drank all his beer. That guy felt really bad, and so he kept insisting he would pay Bobby back for the beer. He reached into his pocket, and Bobby expected him to pull out some cash or whatnot. Instead, he pulled out his mobile phone and called some girl. She told him she was with a friend, and he said he'd be over with Bobby soon. Vagina seems to be the currency around here.

Like I said, everyone has some sort of life. And here I am, living vicariously through them...and blogging about it.

Been A Long Day

I have no idea what's happening, but it really does feel like the world is ending. The Japanese earthquake/tsunami is crazy, with death toll expected to be in the thousands. It's like natural disasters are affecting every part of the world, like it's the start of the end of the world.

I found out this afternoon that a student died on campus last night. He had come home from a normal night out with his friends. He was in second year like me, and stayed at the building next to the one I stayed at last year. The details aren't too clear, but he is said to have just collapsed in the place where we all did our laundry with his friends around him. His friends ran to the nearest residence hall to get help, and a nursing student who is a friend of Pooja, my friend, ran after him to help try resuscitate. My friend Pooja has her boyfriend staying at the residence place, and he told her that this morning everyone was in the common room, deadly quiet. As he walked in the hallway, he saw a girl escorted out who was screaming and crying from shock. The student who died had lived in that residence hall. They had police officers all morning, and counsellors. Imagine being his parents, and receiving that phone call that your seemingly healthy 20 year old is dead, and the friends who saw it all unfold. He died doing something so mundane, doing his laundry, after having a night out with his mates. Things like this aren't supposed to happen. It's just really sad.

Kick Push

I was reading something and listening to music at the same time. As I read the word 'Venice' or some uncommon word like that, the singer sang the word in the song at the exact moment.

Also, yesterday RACV called me to say that my insurance claim to a car crash has been approved. I told them it was the wrong number, because they were looking for a Jade or Adam. And then today my friend was backing out of the uni car park and I was standing outside because the person next to her had parked so shittly, I couldn't even get into the car. And she was turning the wrong way to the arrow, so I was pointing to the other way, confused....then she backed into the car behind her. I don't think it was dented, but scratched. That's one crunching noise I will never forget. But strangely, it popped back out as soon as she drove forward. Coincidences freak me out sometimes.

Once I got a phone call at home from a funeral parlour about a funeral. Thank god that never became a coincidence.

My Number

I don't know why it's necessary, but a lot of people here always seems like listing off the things they need to do, especially when they're talking about uni work. And it's starting to really piss me off. Last year Emma used to do it all the bloody time that it drove me insane. I used to just say one thing, then that just made her go off on what she needed to do. I DON'T CARE PEOPLE. I don't really mind if it's just day to day things, but when they list every single detail of their homework schedule it gets me guilty that I'm not doing the work either. I guess that's why it gets me so annoyed.

In other fun things in my life, I was talking to Wendy and she told me of a friend in our course who had something incredibly disturbing happen to her. She's a nice person, so at the start of last year, she went up to loners and befriended them. One of the loners was a seedy looking guy (complete with those pedophile glasses) who was very strange. One night he went to her room and asked about some 'work'. She said she was tired so she went to her bed and closed her eyes. Next thing she knows, he's kissing her. But once he got the picture, he left. Moral of story: don't befriend loners. Especially ones that look like pedophiles.

Only You

Both my roommates are talking to their boyfriends right now, and all I can hear is their talking while I'm trying to learn about hydrogen bonding. All I have is you, internet.

FOREVER ALONES.

PYT (Pretty Young Thing)

I'm probably not alone on this, but I just for some reason think there isn't anyone out there for me. I just can't imagine it. I'll probably eventually end up settling for someone that's just okay. I suppose I have about ten years to find that okay person before my family starts thinking I'm gay (which happened to my poor 30 something cousin). But I'm not even sad about the thought of spending the rest of my life without someone. Maybe it's cause I'm content without a boyfriend now and how things are. I'll probably end up looking up that 'FOREVER ALONE' meme.

I still can't believe I passed that last exam. I'm still so shocked that I check my online uni transcript everyday, just in case I read it wrong or they accidentally passed me. I thought I'd learnt from the past few years that these things just don't happen to me. But apparently they sometimes do.

Fader

This week has been hectic. It's only been about eight days since I've left home again and it already feels like I've been here for a very very long time already. Yesterday was hectic. I thought I didn't have any pracs on this week, but I only realised after I was hanging out with a friend and a first year pharmacy student was talking to her about a prac for BMS (which I had failed the previous year). So I ended up nearly shitting my pants when I realised I was missing a prac, and Thanh calmed me down, got me some size ten closed toed shoes from someone in her residence, a massive labcoat, and prac book and drove me there. Thank crap for the kindness of strangers. The first year was even trying to calm me down. I suppose it was all my fault- I hadn't gone to any of those lectures 'cause I had others on.

I had to sneak into that prac. That wasn't the worst part. A girl, Belinda, in my year was one of the lab assistants. She's the smartest of our year, so I guess she was asked to do it. It was kind of degrading to have someone in the same year as you as your official teacher. But she was nice enough to joke with me about it.

It also feels really different this year because two of my closest friends here had moved to a different uni together, and there's some other people that are doing my course as distance students for a while. Damn those bitches.

I spent most of today buying those manual lawn mowers that have blades, putting it together and mowing the small patch of grass in the backyard with one of my roommates. It was bloody tiring cause the grass was about 30 cms long and there were spiders, cockroaches and crickets scurrying for safety. We shrieked while mowing.

A friend here named Diana was involved in a really bad car accident yesterday. Apparently she lost control of her car, went over to the other lane, between two trucks, and then rolled down a ditch into a wire fence. She got away with just body bruising from the seatbelt. All I can say is she's one freaking lucky woman. But she's driven me before, and I have to say I'm not surprised- she also drives like the craziest person on steroids, speeds and blasts her music so loud that the stereo in her car starts crackling. She was so close to death, and that's not an exaggeration- her car was completely totalled. Even in the midst of that: 'My Bettina Lianos are all ripped!'.

Tick Tick Boom

Back in Le Olde Country Town. I've moved into a share-house this year, which will be so much better then last year's dorm. The other two girls I'm living with are really easy to live with, so that's always good.

Being back here in this actual town is always kind of daunting to me. Whenever I'm here, I miss walking freely out on the streets and shopping without people staring at me because I'm Asian. Until leaving high school and Melbourne, I have never been so constantly reminded that I'm Asian as I have been recently. Yeah, I was sheltered pretty badly. Coming from a school and suburb where white people are a minority it's a pretty uncomfortable experience. My roommate was driving her parents to the train station on Sunday so that they could catch the next bus back to Sydney. She told me that they were at a red light when a car pulled up next to them and a guy rolled down his window and started yelling in a sing-song voice 'Fucking Asians, fucking Asians, fucking Asians'. My friend's dad told them not to look over and give them the satisfaction of being angry- that that man was just an uneducated idiot. (And it's true, statistics show that racists are generally middle-aged, white, non-tertiary educated men). It was especially painful because it was a red light and they had to endure the taunts for a while. My friend let him speed ahead as the light turned green and as he did, he threw an oily McDonald's paper bag full of rubbish at my friend's windshield as she drove behind him.

People need to get hobbies or something.

'Shouldn't you be studying?'

'Well shouldn't you be less of a fucktard?'

That is the sentence I bloody hate. And I will continue to hate it for as long as I live.

Think About It

Huh. The ring that I thought I had lost back in Year 12 at the social was actually in some bags that my mum just found. I remember changing in the classroom and taking off some of my gangster costume and not being able to find that bloody ring anywhere. It was my sister's, then I had used it for my formal that year too. I seriously had imagined some stupid teenage girl the year after, picking it up and pocketing it. When my mum showed it to me just then, I didn't even recognise it....I actually thought it was the other ring that I had lost that was my mum's. Yeah I don't have a great track record with other people's rings. It's even stranger cause I'd gone through those bags before- they're a collection of just shopping bags I thought I would reuse. Strange...

I keep being homeless, then having a place, then not, then having one....THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTTY.

The Other Side

I think this is both hilarious and disturbing: my dad got some tropical fish off a family friend, and as he was driving home, the water with the fish in it spilt all over the car, and there was no water left for the fish- he had to pick them up and bring them in. I have no idea how long they were out of the water for, but my dad just put them in the aquarium tank and is watching them quite anxiously.

Where Or When

I recently came across Lena Horne- a 1940's singer who's music I'm really enjoying right now. I think I was trying to youtube something else and I stumbled across 'Stormy Weather'. It's nice to get a break from my usual music. And the music fits my mood these days too- I was getting sick of my playlist. I dunno what it is, but to me that era is really lovely, not to sound like an 80 year old. The music is just really pretty and calming.

Great. And I get into trouble for my shitty uni not offering me a place of accommodation.

Baker

This....is really depressing. Having to study on your summer holidays, I mean. Note to future self: please try to pass all your units next time.

Here's a thought

I think it might be that particular sense that's been heightened over the past few years, but everyone around me seems to be so patronising these days. Every second sentence makes me grit my teeth and want to throw whatever I'm holding, or whatever's in front of me to the opposite wall. Or throw a massive psychotic fit. I've been so close....so I'm happy to pass out some royal Fuck You's, and say that you are not always right, as much as you like to think you are.

3

Just found out that for the entire year, my entire dorm building thought I was the biggest snob because I didn't really talk to them. Urgh!!! Apparently they saw me with the "Don't talk to me bitches" vibe. That's so embarrassing. I was just really really, you know, intimidated by them! Erugherugherugh can I be anymore socially awkward?

Oh yeah, also found out a loose friend, Sarah, from my hall had an f-buddy with the guy two doors down to her all year. That's so mind blowing to me 'cause she didn't seem like the type at all! Crazy shit, how some people are completely different to who you think they are.

Also, didn't end up getting scammed- well it wasn't a scam in the first place. Yesterday morning I got a call from a charity, and I felt too guilty to say no to a charity, so I decided to buy some of their raffle tickets. They asked for my credit card, so I gave it to them. Then towards the end of the day, I realised my stupidity- it could have been a freaking scam. So I panicked really, really badly. I called the charity in the morning and it was all good...I need to be less cynical I think.

Might have been scammed: Kill Me Now.

Some Song By Bon Iver

Thought of the Day: What does it mean to be indie? Does it mean multiple vintage vests and chucks in your closet?

Cheers (Drink To That)

I remember mentioning once in passing to Emma and Darsh, 'wouldn't it be cool if all three of us ended up at Latrobe?'. It was just a fun thought. And now, they both tried out for the uni, and both got accepted. I'm trying not to harbour any resentment, but....thanks Emma for not telling me you were trying out. As Thanh mentioned, in one of her surprisingly insightful moments, 'they're abandoning us for their boyfriends'- Emma's boyfriend goes there already, and Darsh has one in Melbourne that she can visit more often if she goes to Latrobe. Sounds like normal...cause that's how I've been losing most of my friends these days. I'm trying to keep in mind that 'things happen for a reason', as gayballs as it sounds...but thinking that makes me hope that I'm going to have an awesomely awesome adult life.

Over My Head

So, I might be living off campus this year. I'm not worried about that- I would actually prefer to live in a house then in those dorms on campus. The thing I'm worried about is how to tell my parents about this- they'll question most of all the fact that I'm on the waiting list...which I think has something to do with the fact that I failed a unit mid-semester....which I also haven't told them about. Plus, I don't have my license, which will mean it'll be a bitch to move about for uni and groceries. And by moving into a rented out, it'll make paying for things much more complicated. Urgh.

Orange Sky

Maybe I should start, you know, studyin' or somefin.

OMG

A few months ago, when I bought a friend down from my uni to Melbourne, I wanted to take her out with some of my friends from home. What I forgot was the fact that I had completely bitched about this uni friend right at the start of the year to my friends at home. This was a time when I was feeling homesick, and everyone I was meeting seemed really shallow and was not 'friend material'. I like things to stay the same, so being thrown in a new location with new people, I was so socially awkward to the point that it was humiliating. I was also feeling pretty sorry for myself for those first few weeks.

This uni friend in particular that I was to eventually bring home with me, had pretty much been on the very bottom of my mental Friend List; she seemed like this gigantic douche, and made these (probably unintentional, now that I know her well enough) insulting comments, e.g. we were talking about what schools we went to, and she and another friend went to private ones. Upon telling them that I went to a Catholic one, and she felt it necessary to comment, 'when my dad first came to Australia, and because he was really poor, he had to go to a Catholic school'. Right. These kids were all rich too...and liked to make that well known. (Also, over the year I noticed that the richer the person was, the more cheap they were ironically enough). So yeah. I thought they were complete idiots.... but then I got to know them I suppose. I guessed later on that because it was First Year, and cause no one knew anyone, people blasted their personalities about one hundred times louder then usual to try to fit in. That could probably go for me too- I was about one million times quieter, trying to make myself scarce with the hope that I wouldn't make a dick out of myself.

Yeah so, to get to the point, I had completely forgotten that I had said crap about her. When we were in Melbourne, and we were going out, one of my Melbourne friends was distinctly cold towards her. I don't think my uni friend noticed but I did, and couldn't figure out why until my home friend asked me (as well as my sister), 'why did you bring her home? Didn't you hate her at the start?'. It was pretty strange to see her so cold and haughty to someone she'd never met, cause she's one of those people who is really warm (sometimes irritatingly so) to strangers, and new people.

Moral of long and convoluted blogpost (and a resolution this year): Stop being so quick to judge (and insult) people. Sorry people for this ridiculous blog. I got halfway and realised it was too late to turn back...so I continued.

Wasted

Note to Douchebag Self:

• Stop buying so much crap.